It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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