Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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