She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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