That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
