i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
