But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize