why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
