That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
