if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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