i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
