but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Randomize
