he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
