Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
