just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It was like giving head to a cactus.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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