I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
