Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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