he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
