i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Too much gin, very little bucket
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
