I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
