I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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