if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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