Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
