WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
