piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
