Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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