Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
vagina is talking i cant
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
