I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
