Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
