I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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