Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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