I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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