No more Irish car bombs ever.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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