Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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