why didn't you poke me back
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
