White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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