Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
