i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
