He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
the room spins SO much faster in panama
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I got inside last night via doggy door
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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