is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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