So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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