Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
