No awkward lesbian experiences without me
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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