you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
