Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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