I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
