Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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