Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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