She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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