you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
