and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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