Sry I called you an 8
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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