worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
